Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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