Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
