Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
