yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
