I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
