Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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