I wanna bring you to show and tell
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
