I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
