my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize