I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
