Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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