he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
