i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
