things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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