that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
