I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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