She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
