Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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