I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I enjoy the company of your penis
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
