wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
