Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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