I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize