Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize