Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
