I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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