How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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