You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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