I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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