Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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