SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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