Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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