So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
