he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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