So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
