I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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