She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
