dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
