i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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