I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize