Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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