Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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