help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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