but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
