They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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