Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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