Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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