is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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