yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
