He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
