You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
