Umm I'm too high to move.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
