So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
