On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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