i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
