Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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