Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
