what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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