Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
